if your boyfriend pauses call of duty to text you back, dump him because he plays shitty games
if genitals don’t touch/aren’t touched in your fic, you had better not rate it anything higher than PG-13/Teen. R for violence my fucking ass. You’re not the MPAA, this isn’t a movie. if I walk into your R-rated fic and all they do is kiss a little, I’m going to curse your crops and come for your children like a fucking thief in the goddamn night.
REMEMBERING ALL YOUR NEGLECTED RESPONSIBILITIES AT ONCE LIKE